Why Trusting Yourself is Essential
The most hypocritical article I’ll ever write.
Okay, so maybe I’m not the best person to tell you all about this subject. One might even say I’m not very good at it myself. However, I believe the best teachers are those who are able to learn. Thankfully for you all, I’ve got a heck of a lot to learn. Don’t we all, really?
When looking up advice and motivational writing, I’ve found that this really isn’t discussed enough. Whenever I’ve made mistakes or let people hurt me in ways they shouldn’t have been able to, I get more upset with myself than I do anyone else. I look at myself and wonder how I put up with such behavior. All of my friends have always told me that I need to “develop a backbone” and “stand up for myself.” In most ways, they were usually right. I’m not sure if it’s because I have a more passive personality or what, but I have extreme trouble with saying what I want and getting it.
With this kind of problem, trust issues within one’s self begin to pop up. Mix that with a little too much overthinking, and you’ll feel your own head spinning over any conflicts or miscommunications. When you don’t trust in yourself, you don’t have the confidence to make choices and you become dependent on those around you. All this does is create more problems, and gives other’s the idea that they control what you do with your life — because they kind of do.
If you make the people are you make all your decisions, and let other’s decide things involving you that you don’t even like, you give up a large part of yourself to someone that you’re not even willing to give up. There’s a reason we all have working brains, we’re supposed to be using them.
Don’t worry, I’ve found myself in this same mess of a puzzle a million times before. You lose confidence, someone temporarily gives it back, you trust way too much of yourself in them, and they change who you are. It’s such a toxic process, and it begins with us. We decide who has that kind of power over us from the first time they try to take it. If you feel like someone is gaining too much control, stop it. Stand up and let them know that you’re your own person and that you trust yourself. Even if it’s not true, faking it until you make it is sometimes the easiest way to get there.
At the end of the day, the great thing about being your own person is that only you know your own thoughts. Some people are better at reading others, sure, but you own the right to think whatever you want to. You deserve to trust yourself anyways! You’ve kept yourself alive and happy for as long as you have, and that’s something to be proud of. You are the powerhouse and decider of all that goes on inside of that head of yours, and there’s a reason our minds give us hints when things aren’t right. The good thing is, even if stuff goes wrong, we’re in charge of our own selves.
As much as we get our mind twisted into believing we need someone else to be successful for every part of life — it’s not true. You can do it on your own, and I believe that everyone should do life on their own for a little bit. Maybe not for a long time, but enough to learn the stuff about you that you haven’t had a chance to learn. Other people can be ridiculously distracting.
With this final idea of how important it is to put trust in yourself, it’s okay to mention that you can trust others. I know I’ve kind of talked-down on the rest of humanity in this one, but friends and family are great resources to get through life’s craziness. You can trust people, you just have to trust yourself enough to veto those opinions. Others care for you, but you know yourself better than anyone else could. You’ve lived with that brain longer than anybody else has.
The idea of trusting one’s self is to be confident in our own thoughts, and not feel the need to search other opinions so often. Being indecisive is insanely difficult, but it’s certainly not a personality trait! It’s something that can be practiced and explored, and often times it’s closely related to how someone views themselves and their ability to say what they want. Some of us really just think we don’t deserve to have an opinion, so change that mindset. Trust in yourself and make good choices. You’ve got your own personal PhD in self, so I assume you should use it.
