What Makes You.. You?
Why are you the way that you are?
Have you ever wondered what makes you.. you? More than just the scientific stuff, why are you the way that you are? Was it the people who raised you? Was it your hometown? Was it the books and movies you surrounded yourself with growing up? What pieces of life left the biggest impact?
Before we can get into the philosophical and the metaphorical, I think it would be important to unwrap why we’re all different from a literal standpoint. In a scientific way of thinking, the reason we’re all different is because our neurons and DNA are fundamentally from one another. There’s no way for us to be the exact same, because we were created through different genetic make-ups.
The scientific and metaphorical reasons aren’t so far apart, either. Our brains evolve as we go through our lives, doing different things, eating different foods, and learning different lessons. Even more than these little daily activities, a big part of changing involves the people we surround ourselves with.
Have you ever heard that corny phrase: “your vibe comes from your tribe?” As many t-shirts as I’ve seen it on, it’s really accurate. Yes, it can be scary and confusing, but it’s not a bad thing either!
Whether it’s a good thing, or a bad thing.. why does it happen?
The interesting phenomenon we’re going to be talking about is called the social proximity effect. This is an idea initially discovered by Theodore Newcomb, who theorized that people around each other often develop similar practices.
Newcomb also decided that after this change occurs, the people are more likely to form relationships with one another. It’s really a cycle, because a lot of us like to be around those who are similar to us. Once we mold our individual personalities to fit in with others, we find ourselves even more interested in them.
You never should be the smartest one in the room.
A lot can be taken from this information. For one, we understand that overall, we should be particular when deciding who to be around. The social proximity theory also shows that we should use each other as opportunities for personal growth. As nice as it can be to know more than everybody around you, it doesn’t really teach much of anything. As horrible as mistakes can be, the best life lessons come from messing up.
Sometimes, people don’t necessarily teach us the right practices, and I understand that, but that shouldn’t scare us off from forming relationships. People can also be great resources for maturing and becoming informed on different topics. If we didn’t have the chance to learn from each other, we wouldn’t be signing up for internship opportunities so frequently. Knowledge is a power much greater than money, and a lot of times, it can lead to a generally substantial amount of money either way.
Every conversation has the opportunity to teach and inspire. With this, we learn new things and begin to learn more about ourselves as well. Sometimes, the parts of life that impact who we are the most aren’t moments, but people instead. Life is way too short to deal with people who aren’t making you happy, or teaching you anything. Experiences matter, and most of the happiness memories give us comes from the people we made them with.
As one small bit of advice, I recommend we all take some time to reflect on how we impact the lives of those around us. Are we leaving our mark? More importantly, are we benefitting each other, or hurting each other?
It’s not always easy to be a great human being, and I get that. If we all came into this world Nobel Peace Prize winners and, well, functioning members of society, life wouldn’t be nearly as exciting and eventful. That’s why life is all about the rollercoaster that is personal development. You’re supposed to fall down, because getting back up can be the best part. It also makes for some of the best stories.
If you’re reading this, you’re certainly not dead yet (I assume), and you’ve got an opportunity! Want a new friend group? Try making friends with coworkers, or taking up a new hobby! Don’t like how you’ve been acting lately? Figure out what’s making you so upset! As long as you’re living, you’ve got the chance to make life even better than it was before.
Be blessed, be grateful, and be you.
